Today I woke up feeling
So fucking grateful
I was convinced I needed
to go out and save the world:
immediately.
Right then, and there.
In my pajamas
Just to say thank you.

Today I woke up feeling
So fucking grateful
I pulled out my laptop at 6am,
because I knew,
I just knew I had to
start working right away
for the spendthrift gods
Just to say thank you.

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This morning I woke up scared.
Of my sex
Of the future…
Of whether
or not
You’d be in it.

And if I’d survive my decisions.
Scared I might be wrong.

I turned over
and looked at
your maps,
your pictures,
your kitsch,
The fragments collected in you.
You on the pillow beside me,
You under a sky of covers,
You still innocent with your dreams.
I remembered how
You rolled over and
Held me in your sleep:
Like you wanted me there.
And I remembered:
I wanted me there too.

By now you’ve probably figure out
all of the reasons it’s good
I’m not in your life anymore.

By now you’ve stopped trying to interpret
the silence.

By now you’ve probably raised your eyebrows
at another gal.

Maybe one with a heart

That’s full of love

for you,

Like yours was for me.

Rock paper scissors
She threw something down:
Paper.
It was her turn,
But she forgot
What to say.
The pen wouldn’t write
itself anymore.
I forget how to say.

Some days, you’re my “Guapo.”  Some days you’re that “little fucker.”  Today is one of those days.

Stop patronizing God
by always asking
for permission;
by begging Her
to babysit your fears.

God is like a psychic:
She doesn’t tell you the future,
She tells you what you already know.